Internet-illiterate woman hip to yesterday’s parties


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AUSTIN – With her access to social media and mastery of scrolling, reading and typing, Rita Biggs always digs up the juiciest information about the coolest just-happened parties, hottest after-the-fact concerts and hippest transpired activities. “I don’t know how she does it,” said Annie Solis, a Facebook friend. “I don’t know how she can be invited to the same parties as me, not see any of the invites or the group messages, and then proceed to comment ‘Where was this?’ when someone posts about it. She’s like my grandma. Except 26.” Biggs gets the scoop on yesterday’s shindigs by firing up Internet Explorer on her computer and clicking wildly – or by mashing buttons on her BlackBerry – until she sees that website with the blue bar at the top or maybe the one with that little bird. Then, when she recognizes a face or name and reads the adjacent words, she types out laser-like questions such as “Where?” or “Was this Friday??” or “Is it still good? Txt me 734-2917.” Friends are in awe of her ability to read Tweets and mentally construct them in ways that are no longer useful. “Once she invited me to a house party I had been to two days before,” Henry Perker said. “I think she was confused because ‘Thursday’ and ‘Saturday’ both contain the word ‘day.’ I don’t know.”

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